


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

by RichelieusCats



Category: Bleak House - Charles Dickens
Genre: Disfigurement, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Older Man/Younger Woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2019-10-07 09:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17363243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichelieusCats/pseuds/RichelieusCats
Summary: In which; Ada meddles, Jarndyce feels old, Esther pines and Caddy worries.I really love this pairing, even though I know they do not get together in the book (SPOILERS). I just love them and it won't leave me alone so I wanted to do a fanfic on these two ARGH the feels.I know there are many Allan Woodcourt fans, don't worry there will be no bashing.I don't own Bleak House, or any characters or adaptations (I'm no Charles Dickens).





	1. A difficult descision.

Esther had never felt the elusive feeling such as love, it was as implausible as one such as her who tainted her mother’s existence should have such a joyous capacity. She thought, she loved Mr Woodcourt, he was a dear friend, a very dear friend indeed but he could never capture her heart as her guardian had. But she had rejected him, her guardian. Unwilling to face the fear of having his complete adoration within her grasp, and, in turn he turned cold and icy. Tensions radiated in Bleak House, ratcheting up to a degree that Esther in turn could no longer be able to stay in the house, even though she was well loved by the staff, and her dearest companion Ada. 

 

In truth. Who could love such a disfigured, selfish creature such as she. It was unthinkable, that her dear guardian full kindness and generosity should ever feel such a feeling towards her. 

 

Ada had sensed both her guardian and Esther’s unhappiness and was resolved in solving it before it became too much for all of them living in one house. Sitting on Esther’s bed she set about trying to unravel the mess of her much beloved companion’s feelings;

 

“Esther, my love. What is going on between you and our dear guardian?” 

 

Esther nearly dropped the book that she holding in her grasp, and, finally managing to catch it she gave Ada a guarded expression;

 

“Nothing, Ada. I’ve no wish to discuss it.” Esther’s quiet reply was filled with warning, that, Ada risking her companion’s wrath forged ahead. 

 

“I see. So our guardian’s apparent behaviour, by behaving as if we don’t exist is normal. And, you. You haven’t so much as said a good morning to him in the past few days. He’s been holed up in his Growley, nearly barking at everyone with unnecessary fervour, and, Esther my dear, you’ve been hiding from him as if he was Napoleon Bonaparte. What on earth was said, that could induce either of you to behave so?” 

 

Ada’s words had hit their mark and nearly propelled her into an apology as Esther’s face contorted into such unbearable sadness, with unbidden tears pooling down her cheeks that Ada reconsidered the harshness of her words; 

 

“Oh Ada. I fear that I have made such a fool of myself.” Esther made out through sobs, “I deserve those words and more…” 

 

“My dear, what could have happened. Surely it is not irreparable. Mr Jarndyce, is not a monster. He is a most generous, and wonderful man. You’ve always said so.” Ada grew even more concerned as her words seemed to spark even more tears, kneeling down so that she was level with Esther;

 

“I said horrible things to him … He was so gentle even after I broke my engagement with Mr Woodcourt. But I was so angry, that I felt more for him that I lashed out, I called him manipulative that he poisoned by relationship with Allan. I knew it was lies, but he … he … looked so heartbroken that when I tried to take back my words, he said I had better leave. And … I fled like a coward.”

 

“Oh dear, Esther. But, why on earth would you say such a thing?.” 

 

“Look at me Ada, my love. I am disfigured, I am no match for our dear guardian’s generosity and kindness. He will see me as unworthy, unworthy as I am sure to be. There can be no question of any romance between us”. Esther made her out her reasons in such a way that even to her own ears it sounded ridiculous. 

 

“Do you think that our guardian would think less of you, Esther. That is sure to be foolish, he would not care a jot, if you were ugly as sin. Which you are not my dear. Here, why not I talk to him …” 

 

“No Ada … oh no. That would make me out to be a coward. I shall leave Bleak House, it is the safest avenue for all concerned.”

 

“If your mind's made up, my love then I will help you.” Ada whispered sadly, clutching her dear companion’s hands in hers. 

 


	2. Confrontation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr Jarndyce ruminates on his inability to express emotion even to those he loves. Facing an impossible decision on not tying Esther down to him, or, allowing her the independence in her life. 
> 
> Ada interferes, Esther is annoyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, 
> 
> I’m sorry this is so late coming to you. I’ve just moved back to University, but hopefully this fic will pick up. I have some idea on where to take this. 
> 
> As always please let me know what you think, 
> 
> All the best, 
> 
> RichelieusCats.

Mr Jarndyce had become increasingly aware that the relationship between himself and his ward was spiralling out of control. And, it was a consequence of his own actions. 

He could no longer keep his adoration from Esther. A secret that he had exerted with an iron will, but when he first lay eyes on her all thoughts of becoming a respectable father figure had left him. In Esther’s eyes he was a father figure someone with whom she had not had the chance to know. Jarndyce knew, that he must contend with that sliver of affection she granted him even if it was a role that he detested. It must of been his own fault that his intentions were not made clear, he was not given to open displays of devotion and that was one of his failings. 

But, he wanted her. Wanted her with a passion that frightened and consumed him. When Mr Woodcourt announced his intentions to court Esther, Jarndyce forced himself to be happy for the pair of them. Mr Woodcourt was young, handsome, idealistic and fond of philanthropy for the poor. When they had broken off the engagement, on the grounds that neither of them were ready for marriage, Jarndyce couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief, followed with an immense guilt that the younger man was no longer in Esther’s consideration. 

To remove any embarrassment between himself and Esther he had locked himself in his Growley, barely speaking to anyone and drinking a great deal to numb the pain that radiated from his heart. Some would call him a coward, he called it self preservation. He could not face her. Those spiteful accusations which filled his every waking moment could have well been true, he could not still face her in mundane settings at Bleak House without being reminded of his deepest desires. 

When Ada had knocked on the door, his first instinct was to send her away so he could wallow in his self pity for a moment longer. However, his conscious and willingness to help those in need made him see that he had neglected his other ward. In a shatter of his own resolve he called for Ada to bid entry. But found to his astonishment that she had been crying, her red rimmed eyes gazed up into his; 

“Ada, my love. Whatever is the matter?” 

“Dear guardian, something of a crisis has occurred and I must rectify it. The harmony of this house depends on it.”

Taking Ada’s cold hands in his, he led her to a chair; 

“Chid, tell me what it is that troubles you so?” 

Swallowing, Ada managed to compose herself. Holding onto her guardian’s hands she trembled as she spoke; “You mustn’t be angry with me, sir. But I spoke to Esther, yesterday night she is convinced that she will leave Bleak house as soon as possible. I have tried to persuade her to stay, but, she will hear none of it. Esther can be very stubborn at times …”. 

Ada watched as her words sunk into her guardian like an unforgiving barnacle. Heartbreak filtered across his face before it was covered up with a mask that she had seen far too often. 

“We must do something, sir. Before she leaves, maybe for good.”

“I will speak to her, it seems that that is the only course of action available to us at the moment. Where is she?” 

Relief overwhelmed Ada, this horrifying and upsetting mess would be sorted out. Looking at the determined line of her guardian’s jaw it was not going to be pretty; 

“Taking a walk in the grounds, sir.”

With an air of finality, Jarndyce left his Growley in search of a confrontation that would surely be disastrous.

*************************************

Esther was taking a walk in the mild October air, she enjoyed the feel of cold wind brushing her face making her cheeks redden and nose pink. The morning frost, enveloped the countryside and seemed to make the house colder and more forbidding. This may be the last day she ever spent at Bleak House. This was all she had ever known, she was welcomed here shared the best memories of her life inside the stone walls. And she was to leave it, of her own accord. Bringing her shawl closer to her chilled body, she saw in amazement that Mr Jarndyce had come out of his Growley and was making his way purposefully towards her, with frightening speed. Esther cursed Ada, she expressly forbid any mention of their conversation to reach their guardian’s ears;

“Esther. Care to join me for a walk.” 

The usual jovial facade of her guardian was nowhere to be seen. Instead it was impassive, almost cold. She walked with him in silence, there shoes making gentle treads on the gravel; 

“Are you here to try and stop me.” The words came out without a thought, Mr Jarndyce’s shoulders stiffened. 

“Why are you leaving Esther?.” 

Esther paused, unsure of how to answer such a question without mentioning her own faults; 

“I just think it would be best for all concerned.” 

Her guardian stopped by the old oak tree, it’s leaves falling on the ground, it’s menagerie of colours burnt oranges, beautiful roses and golds; 

“I do not have the power to stop you. If that is what you wish Esther, then go you shall.” 

Esther thought that the older man would put up more of a fight, instead, he looked resigned. Annoyed at his perceived apathy, all the words Esther had rehearsed hoping to rouse some sort of response from Mr Jarndyce seemed to freeze in her mind. She turned away from him, and looked out at the grey sky. A moment later she could feel her heart break when she could no longer feel his presence at her side.


	3. Distance makes the heart grew fonder.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caddy is confused about her friend's flight and wishes to help. 
> 
> Ada matchmakes. 
> 
> Esther and Jarndyce have an unexpected reunion that doesn't go the way they wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you are following this, you may be wishing me in the writers pit of hell. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm truly sorry for the long wait. But I've had a bit of writer's block. For inspiration I've been watching an adaptation of Bleak House with Denholm Elliot (Did I say DENHOLM ELLIOT). Who is absolutely amazing. In case of those who are wondering who I'm modelling Mr Jarndyce on; I have to say it's definitely him and I hope that I have kept to his portrayal. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry for the gushing … I just had to. 
> 
>  
> 
> This fic if it doesn't end up the way I want it to. It may end up (in certain parts) with a rewrite but I desperately hope not. 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoy this next instalment and please tell me if there is something I can do either to improve of an idea that I haven't thought of. 
> 
>  
> 
> Much love and best wishes, 
> 
> RichelieusCats.

Caddy Turveydrop was delighted to welcome her dear friend Esther into her home. Ever since marrying Prince and having her own baby, she longed for her quiet, well-mannered companion that seemed to radiate a sense of calm even in the most chaotic of places. 

 

But Caddy noticed that all was not well. 

 

In her manner Esther was just the same; the quiet smile and gentle temperament that Caddy loved so well. But Caddy grew more concerned as the days passed; her friend barely ate even though Esther commented that the food was lovely but as to not cause Caddy offense that she was not feeling hungry at the moment. Esther seemed distracted and withdrawn, and, Caddy often caught her looking at the letters on the table as if in search for something. 

 

In one last desperate attempt to forego Esther's leaving Bleak House, Ada made Esther promise to not stay longer than a month. And had desperately appealed to Mr Jarndyce for a carriage to be sent to Esther on her last day, which he had granted at Esther's discretion. In the meantime before the coach arrived, Caddy noticed that her friend greeted her in the same manner most mornings and was thoroughly attentive to the babe; however, Caddy sensing something was wrong stared curiously at Esther whose paleness had been remarked on before, examined that it was almost to the point of sickness. But before she could question Esther on what was happening a carriage arrived. It was time for her dear friend to leave her, yet Caddy was still none the wiser onto what had happened to set Esther running to her in the first place, the older woman could be so obstinately stubborn. Seeing Esther out with her luggage, Caddy clung to her friend’s thin frame with a renewed ferocity; 

 

“You will write to me, my dear.” Caddy pleaded. 

 

“Of course, Caddy. You have been so patient with me. I am sorry that I haven’t been more forthcoming with you during these past weeks.”

 

With a reluctant squeeze, Caddy let go of Esther who after smiling got into the carriage with uncharacteristic clumsiness. 

 

*******************************************************************************************************************************

The journey back to Bleak House went by too fast for Esther who longed that they wouldn't return to Herefordshire quite so soon. The carriage was making good progress and the churning feeling in Esther’s stomach reached a fever pitch. 

 

She would see him … again. 

 

She would have to face the hurt she had caused her beloved guardian by running away from him and Ada, and the ever present self - hatred ate at what remained of her tattered self - esteem. During the time she had been away from Bleak House, Esther realised with unexpected embarrassment that she craved John Jarndyce's affection like a moth to a flame, and, when it was given she squirreled it into a corner of her thoughts that she could revisit and examine in great detail. But ashamedly she craved the feel of his arms around her, making her feel safe from her Aunt's memory, her parents indiscretion and the worthless creature that she was. 

 

After a few days of solitude and only Caddy for company, the feeling of unease grew. She was restless and steadily growing anxious about what she would say to her guardian once she set foot back at Bleak House. The food that she had tried to consume before her trip rolled around in her stomach, when the carriage drew to a halt at the forbidding exterior of Bleak House. She could hear running on the gravel and as she looked up she saw Ada running towards her, her golden-guinea curls dishevelled and her cheeks flushed with pleasure; 

 

“ESTHER!. Oh your home, I’m so glad."

 

She was caught in an embrace that made her want to weep, how was Ada still the same unconditionally loving young girl that she had left behind; 

 

“Please hurry, I’m sure Mr Jarndyce would love to see you…” 

 

Esther stopped in mid-walk the churning feeling was clutching at her with an unrelenting ferocity; she would of course have to see him. Better sooner rather than later. Ada hurried her to the Growlery before she had time to take off her bonnet and travelling cloak; 

 

“Ada if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times …" She see him now unobserved and how …  her heart pounded in her chest, her first inclination was to run but the desire to his him far outweighed any notion of self preservation. 

 

As he turned towards her, she greedily examined his painfully familiar features. His hair was still the colour she remembered the same thick mop of unruly brown hair that was turning a distinguished grey, the same craggy face, his expressive eyes that showed a hidden determination within its earthly depths. As she drank in the sight of him, she could also see a mixture of surprise and longing at her arrival before it hardened into an expression that she knew rather too well; 

 

“So … you’re back.” His voice was harsh to her ears. And, Esther winced as she found there was no gentleness to soften the blow and why should there be?, it was no less than she deserved. 

 

To her disappointment, it wasn’t the reunion Esther had fantasized about, (when she was quite sure that was left alone with her thoughts) that her guardian would go down on his knees and profess his undying love for her. Or that she would lose all composure and run into his arms and sob that she was sorry over and over until he stopped her. 

 

But of course reality is not as kind as one would wish. Their reunion was terse to the point of rudeness on both their parts. Esther was fumbling with her inexperience and Mr Jarndyce fighting the impulse to either send her from the room or gather her into his arms and never let go until she begged him. It ended with a weak inquiry about Esther's health, and unspoken feelings that were thought better left unsaid.   

 


	4. In which there is reconcile.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY ... 
> 
> The wait is over ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many ... Many apologies. I’ve had dreadful writer’s block and I hope that this is everything that you hoped for. It’s still not finished I’ll be working on the next two chapters. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy; 
> 
> RichelieusCats

Esther knew that she was playing a dangerous game. 

 

It had been a few weeks since her return to Bleak house, the staff were grateful for their mistresses resumption of their duties. And Mr Jarndyce and Esther enjoyed a sort of truce between them, what had happened in the previous month was not mentioned. In fact they did not discuss it, focusing on topics such as the running of the household and Ada’s future. It came to pass that  Dr Woodcourt had been in the neighbourhood, and, wishing to re- acquaint his relationship with Miss Summerson stopped by Bleak House on the way to see his mother. Esther of course was delighted to see him and they took a stroll together in the gardens; 

 

“It is so lovely to see you Miss Summerson, although, as your doctor you are looking more pale than I would have wished.” 

 

Smiling at Dr Woodcourt’s attention she held his arm a little tighter; 

 

“And I you, Mr Woodcourt. It has been a while since we have seen each other.” 

 

“Indeed, and, you have not reconsidered your position on marriage.” 

 

Esther blanched at his words, although, she knew she would never love anyone else but her guardian. She had not reconsidered that Jarndyce himself, may consider marriage even if it wasn’t to her. Oh dear she felt helplessly … jealous. Images of Mr Jarndyce with another women, a beautiful women of his own age who could love him without reservation;

  
“I see I have upset you, dear Miss Summerson. Forgive me, I do not want to cause you any undue distress.” 

 

Esther gave a watery smile and fought the urge to confide in Mr Woodcourt all that she felt. But that would not be fair on her dear friend and she hated herself for trying to seek relief in another human being. This was her private shame and she would have to contend herself to it.

 

After Woodcourt had left, Esther realised that she must face her guardian due to some issues surrounding the household bills. She saw Charley on the way back;    
  


“Charley, have you seen Mr Jarndyce.” 

 

“Miss, he’s in the Growlery. But please, Miss he has said that he is not to be disturbed.” 

 

Usually that was a sign that her guardian was in one of his black moods. She had once said to him, that she had doubted whether he would become so maundalin, he had criticised her ignorance of not knowing him well enough. And, she hadn’t. 

 

Ignoring Charley’s advice was unwise, but maybe it would clear the air surrounding them. Purposefully walking towards the Growlery, emotionally she stalled herself for an explosion. Without knocking she could see Mr Jarndyce in a chair, his face in a pensive almost with bleak weariness;

 

“Esther, I would prefer to be alone.”

  
“I need to talk to you about something.”

 

“Can it not wait.”

 

Before she had given him time to answer, she was in his sanctuary almost disturbing the fragile peace that had come over the house;

 

“If you insist.” Jarndyce growled like a cornered animal. 

 

Esther’s eyes followed him as he made his way to the window, the way his shoulders were bunched up belied his nervousness at her reluctance to speak immediately;

 

“I… I …” she was stammering like an idiot, this wasn’t what she had rehearsed in her mind. All form of speech seemed to have left her fumbling with inadequacy, whatever she said to him it would never be enough to repair the damage that her leaving had enforced on them. 

 

“I take it Mr Woodcourt has been here.” Esther was startled by this line of enquiry. 

 

“Yes, he has.”

 

“Are congratulations in order?”

 

Surely, he didn’t think … but of course he had no idea of her and Allan’s conversation outside. He must think that Woodcourt asked her to marry him and she had accepted. Suddenly, Mr Jarndyce turned around his face inscrutable;

 

“Well? Esther. Does your silence indicate that you have accepted him? I surely deserve an answer?”

 

“No. He asked me but I haven’t accepted him.” 

 

Her guardian looked surprised at the direct response to his question; 

“May I ask why?” 

 

Esther desperately looked at her guardian’s neckerchief, not daring to look into the hope filled eyes that she would surely find there;

 

“Because, I don’t love him.”  

 

“Ah… Well that is a pity.” 

 

“Is it? I thought it would make you happy?” Esther bit back before she had time to think about the repercussions of her hasty remark;

 

“I think Esther, we have danced about this issue long enough. Don’t you?. Sit down.”

 

The brutal command made Esther sit wearily in her chair, watching her prowling guardian; 

 

“I would like an explanation from the beginning, and, I hope that it is good enough for you to disturb me like this.” He watched her expectantly; 

 

Esther breathed in, she must get this out in the open before they both were driven to madness by her actions;

 

“My attentions were first superficially occupied by Dr Woodcourt, he was young, idealistic and had the same philanthropic tendencies about the poor. He was everything that I could have hoped for. But, he went to sea and I was left at home with you and Ada with no idea how to contact him or to know whether or not he was safe. Then I caught smallpox, I was worried about seeing you, Ada and Richard, I wasn’t the same girl that I had been when we first came to Bleak House. I thought that the sight of me would disgust you. To my amazement, you treated me with kindness and sincerity as you would an equal. I think that was the first time I realised that I was in love with you. When Dr Woodcourt, came back and I was secretly engaged to you, my feelings were in a state of confusion. I still had the girlish sense of romance that had followed me since he left, yet I was hopelessly in love with a person whose kindness and generosity far surpassed anything that I had known from the moment I was born . All the actions that I have taken, were born out of my own insecurities, that I would never be good enough for you, that someday you would have had enough of a plain, scarred creature as me. And, the only thing left for me to say is that I … I l...love you J...J...John Jarndyce.”

Esther stumbled over the last words, tears of shame pooled down her cheeks as she stared at the carpet barely looking at her guardian who no doubt would fly into a rage over her rambling if banal confession. She saw a figure kneel at her feet and warm hands cup her face so that she met her guardian’s eyes which were wet with unshed tears;

 

“My darling, you know that I am useless at making speeches. But let me say this, I adore you.” He bent to kiss her frozen hands in an unexpected gesture of affection; “I will not force you into answering my proposal just yet, but in a few days when you are ready and certain. Send me your answer as we did before.” 

 

Esther unable to keep all her emotions in check felt her her body shake with sobs, she was overwhelmed at her confession and the gentleness that she did not deserve. Mr Jarndyce gathered her into his arms, the warmth of his body surrounding her as she arms curled around his neck slipping into his hair, the familiar scent of his cologne made her grip on him tighten. Rocking back and forwards, Jarndyce’s tears of relief dropped in her hair as he repeatedly kissed her temple in a gesture of unadulterated affection. 

 

Outside of the Growlery, both Charley and Ada were grinning at each other, both delighted that the stalemate surrounding Bleak House had been broken. 

 


	5. Self-Control.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jarndyce and Esther have professed their feelings for each other. But Esther's demons come back to haunt her …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!!! 
> 
> I'm back, for those of you who are still following this with a months absence; I am so sorry. 
> 
> I had a bit of a eureka moment on how to finish this story, and, I'm really excited about you all reading it. 
> 
> I have rated it Explicit for a reason. 
> 
> Enjoy, and, please tell me what you think in the comments? 
> 
> Best wishes; 
> 
> RichelieusCats.

The night encased Bleak House.

The opaque darkness seemed to encompass the grounds in an unforgiving hold. The full moon, Esther thought, was alluring in it's simplicity a beacon of light in the unredeeming blackness. Musing at her window, Esther gave a small smile at the memory she was repeating in her head for what must have been the one hundredth time that night. The feeling of her Guardian’s arms around her and the press of his warm lips at her temple, left an imprint that she was loathe to forget; it had kept her company, when she awoke to the harsh words of her Aunt which she remembered in a kaleidoscope of accurateness.

Mr Jarndyce, was as good as his word. Apart from the occasional brush of his fingers when they went out to the grounds on a particular sunny day; or a warm smile that was tinged with affection when she entered the room. Her Guardian was strictly keeping his distance and affection from her; not wanting to pressure her until she was really sure that being united to him was what she wanted.

Tonight was the night that Esther snapped.

Esther was resolved to give him her answer under the cover of darkness, aware that everyone would be settling into bed. Walking along the darkened corridor, she paused at the oak door of his bedroom where light was escaping the cracks of the door. However, Esther’s conscience gnawed at her unforgivingly. She always prided herself in knowing the appropriateness of a situation, and, she really shouldn’t go into her unmarried Guardian’s room, no matter that they both loved each other. But the desire to see him and give him her answer far outweighed propriety in this instance. As she knocked on the door, the door gave way to her as if expecting her nocturne visit. Walking cautiously into the room, she saw her Guardian reading a novel that she had lent him in one of the chairs beside the fire. His dark eyes peering over the rim of his spectacles. Esther felt a little disappointed that she had not caught him in _dishabille_ , a picture of him in his shirt sleeves with an open front floated in her mind, which had her catching her breath, she never realised that she viewed him as a sexual being, being too attached to Mr Woodcourt to see her Guardian in any other light;

“Little woman, this is an unexpected visit” His voice was gentle, but his eyes remained warily trained on her and her wraith like appearance in his bedroom.

Esther stood rooted to the spot, the impulsiveness which had led her to his bedroom had gone leaving her feeling vulnerable and insecure.

What on earth was she doing, invading his privacy just as she had done in the Growlery?

All speech vanished, which made frustration well in her chest; she so wanted to be able to articulate her answer to his proposal, but her insecurities and timidness affected her deeply. What was more unnerving was that Mr Jarndyce was still sat by the fire cautiously looking at her, from his book but made no move or suggestion as to what she should do.

Without thinking, Esther crossed the small gap between them and lifted the book from her Guardian’s hands. She could see that Jarndyce had not moved either towards her or to push her back; beginning to feel overwhelmed she could feel the radiating warmth that he exuded and the familiar yet painful smell of old books mingled with the cologne that he habitually wore. She was so close, she had never been this close to a man before and she could feel her breath come out in short pants, her face heating up at the intimacy that was almost tangible.

Esther’s mouth went dry, as her attention caught on Mr Jarndyce’s pink tongue darting to wet his lips. She found that small action ridiculously arousing, dazedly she had not thought of looking at her Guardian’s lips before; they were thin but not unappealing, the wet moisture had made them plump and kissable. Moving her head, she gently pressed her lips to his in a curious if chaste kiss. Her Guardian's lips were warm and soft yet she could feel no pressure back; she had heard from stories Ada had told her about Richard, that kissing had made her lose all thinking capacity, but Esther's mind was a haze of panic and anxiety.

Maybe he was indifferent to her?

Was she doing it wrong?

But she had gone too far to stop, pressing more firmly against him Esther’s hands tugged at her Guardian’s hair in an increasing effort to get him to respond.

She wasn’t disappointed.

With a strangled moan, from Jarndyce. She could feel his lips on hers returning the kiss, it was fuelled by passion rather than her naïve exploration; she could feel herself melting into his embrace as the heat of his tongue licked itself into her mouth. As their tongues entangled in a forceful embrace, Esther feared that her legs wouldn’t hold her up any longer, and without pausing the kiss, or asking him for permission, she climbed into her Guardian’s lap with a little moan of her own. Wrapped in the safety of Jarndyce’s embrace, Esther began her tentative exploration of Jarndyce’s body underneath her, any semblance of self-respect had evaporated. Her Guardian let go of her lips and began trailing arousing kisses across her cheeks and nose, as he began suckling at her ear lobe she felt the unfamiliar sensation of heat pooling in her gut. Rocking against him, in guileless passion, she found something that she only heard Ada whispering about in hushed tones. All Esther’s doubts that her Guardian was in fact indifferent to her disappeared, as she could feel pressed against her the evidence of his arousal. Distracting Jarndyce with another kiss, which he freely gave into with a murmured whimper of;

“Esther, darling …”

Esther’s hand trailed down his stomach brushing against his waistcoat buttons and grasped at the hardness that she found waiting for her. It was hot and heavy even through his trousers. Esther’s life had always been a disappointment to others, but giving someone she loved so much pleasure made Esther hot all over. All that was left was a ferocious need to please her Guardian in any way possible. Hot, passionate kisses were traded between them, a Pandora box full of emotion had been let loose with an unknown fury that surprised both of them. In an effort to please; Esther, tried to undo the placket of his trousers, the warmth of his flesh nearly burning her palm.

Suddenly, she felt hands grab at her and pushed her back. Pants filled the silent air, as Esther gazed at her Guardian wearily; his chest rapidly beat a tattoo of rising and falling, his iris’ were blown wide with arousal his cheeks flushed a delightful pink. Esther thought that he looked beautiful.

“Get out.”, it was such a quiet whisper that Esther thought she had misheard.  

“GET OUT” Jarndyce roared, embarrassment and shock made her run out of the room and into the safety of her own bed.


	6. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they live happily ever after (Finally!!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, 
> 
> If you are still reading this story then I am eternally grateful to you, it has been a hard one to finish and I haven't been well whilst writing it. I hope you enjoy this final addition to this story, although I am not entirely happy with the ending. But, please review, I always love reading them. 
> 
>  
> 
> It is rated Explicit for a reason. 
> 
>    
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, much love; 
> 
> RichelieusCats.

Esther's composure had been thoroughly ruffled, the confidence she had exuded the night before had been utterly destroyed, and the ever present feeling of disgust eclipsed the elation she should have felt. What on earth had come over her? She shuddered at the memory, unwilling to let the embarrassment go, it even seemed to blot out her Aunt’s venomous tongue for once. 

 

Esther paced up and down still covered in her nightie. She had to think of what to do next, tears coursed down her cheeks without her even feeling the hot splashes against her cheeks in her anxious state. Her hands trembled with fear, not of her Guardian; never him. But at her brazen display; the words “Get out” ringed in her ears with unwanted frequency;

 

There was a sudden knock on the door, thinking it was Ada, Esther opened the door to find Mr Jarndyce looking almost feral. His face was drawn and pale, tiredness and despair seemed to filter across his face;

 

“You have not left? Thank God.” His rough voice sounded hoarse to her ears; “It seems inevitable that I am the cause of your tears, yet again.” 

 

Reaching her, as if he were comforting a frightened child. His ink -stained fingers gently wiped away her pooling tears. That action caused something to break in Esther and she flung herself into Mr Jarndyce’s arms; 

 

“I seem to make a mess of everything. I’m sorry.” She almost wailed, hysterical that her one chance of happiness had been utterly ruined by her actions; 

 

“Let us sit down, my dear.” Jarndyce whispered to her; 

 

But Esther, still had a death-like hold on his jacket and Jarndyce had to maneuverer them towards a nearby loveseat. Esther warily glanced at her Guardian's face, but he avoided looking directly into her eyes, whether out of discomfort or bashfulness she couldn’t yet tell;

 

“It is I, that should be apologising. My darling, please. There is no need for these tears.” His quiet pleading, instead of stemming the tide of tears inflamed them.

 

“I love you so much, I just … I don’t know what came over me.” 

 

“Esther, my love. I am not angry with you. As so much that I am angry with myself for letting my restraint crumble.” His voice was full of reproach for himself and devastation at his actions, that Esther calmed enough to kiss her dear Guardian’s hand; “When you came upon me last night. I wanted you to be certain that you were not making a mistake, I am so much older than you. I have not the physique of a young man in his prime. And I have never known a woman apart from you, I am embarrassed to say it but your touch was too much.”

 

Turning his head fully to face Esther, the younger woman pressed her lips to his without inhibition, her fingers tangling in his hair. Gently, Jarndyce returned the kiss, she could warmth of his fingers touching the grooves of her face with utter reverence especially the marks that marred her face. Feeling anchored by the contact, Esther realised in surprise that she still wanted to resume what she had started. Brushing her fingers against Jarndyce’s waistcoat her hand travelled down to her Guardian’s breeches, she almost flew from the love seat when Jarndyce’s warm hand caught hers. Looking into his face she could see a mixture of apprehension and arousal that she was sure was mirrored in her own face; 

 

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to please me, Esther.” 

 

“What if I want to?” She whispered shyly;

 

"I …ah...”

 

He was cut off when Esther’s palm surrounded his interested arousal, through his breeches. Unsure of what she was meant to be doing she rubbed him tentatively, feeling him tense she shyly looked up at John whose face was flushed and his eyes bright with restrained arousal; Esther wondered what it would look like when John finally lost control. She felt warm kisses pressing against her neck, and suddenly felt grateful that they were sitting down as there was no way that her legs would not have buckled if they had been standing.

 

Whilst cataloguing all these emotions and experiences for further inspection, Esther hadn’t counted that Jarndyce would want to touch her in the same way. Focusing on his pleasure before herself. Before she could tell him that he didn’t need to reciprocate, Esther could feel John’s hands on her upper thigh, she waited to feel a sense of panic or shame but a wave of pure need, crashed over her, almost burning with the effort not to push him too quickly. Leaning up to kiss him again a shudder wracked through her body as Jarndyce touched her in a way no man had done before;

 

“J...J...ohn…” Esther whimpered his name, her arms pulling him even closer as she resumed touching her Guardian’s arousal, almost smiling when she heard a whispered curse. 

 

Esther’s face was buried once again in Jarndyce’s neck as they continued to bring each other towards the grand finale that they both had yearned for. With an inexpert stroke of John’s finger on her, Esther wailed;

 

“Oh, I love you... “  Quivering, Esther finally crashed into a mind-numbing release;

 

Jarndyce watched as Esther finally came down from her high, her hand still holding his arousal within her small palm. When she opened her eyes, a twist of her hand had him crying out her name in a choked voice as he finally lost control. Heavy panting echoed throughout the still room, Esther lifted her head up from her Guardian’s shoulder although he still panting harshly she could see a smile tugging at his face; 

 

John whispered, “But what is it you were going to say to me last night?” 

 

Esther swallowed and looked into her dear Guardian’s face; “I will marry you John Jarndyce.” 

 


End file.
